1. Not So Great Expectations
“I could have done without the blood-stained mattress and the (actual)
chunk of poop on my bedspread, but I didn’t expect the Hilton.”

2. Rest in Peace
“I spent the night in the (hotel) room and experienced a friendly spirit.
This presence got into bed with me, an old lady, she was nice and I just
patted her on the head and we had a comfortable restful sleep. I think I
will ask for a different room next time.”

3. Mime Over Matter
“The neighborhood is filled with aggressive mimes, including one sitting
on a toilet bowl (how creative). Room cards are changed for no reason and
you cannot understand why you can’t get into your room. All in all it was
a very unpleasant stay.”

4. Deep Thoughts
“Time could be spent pondering over the meaning of some of the many safety
signs around the complex. Out of the several we managed to identify, the
two we found to be of greatest use were 1. Not to step on any crocodiles
whilst bare foot, and 2. No ugly, or spotty children to frequent the

5. Is That Really What You Meant?
“I echo the sentiments of the previous reviewer. The ambience is lacking
to be sure, but the food is like angels copulating on your tongue.”

6. Freezing Over
“Sleeping in the street during a blizzard would be better than staying at
this hell-hole. The place should be imploded.”

7. No Accounting for Taste
“Subject: Crab Trap Restaurant. We enjoyed our experience at the Crap
Trap. The food is very good with nice size portions and reasonable prices
(especially for the shore). The only down side is the wait.”

8. A Sore for Sight Eyes
“Food not special, and the couple that lives there with their dog is very
‘homey’ and ‘folksy’ types. Not for everyone. The premises are well kept,
but some private parts we could see thru open door were not.”

9. Leave It to Beaver
“Imagine awakening at 4:00 am to the sound of loud footsteps in the
stairwell, only to realize that someone is drunk and knocking on your
hotel door saying, ‘Beaver…it’s me. Let me in, Beaver.'”

10. The Last Laugh
“In fact, I told the management there that I was putting a review on your
website about their poor service and they laughed at me and said go right
ahead, nobody reads the TripAdvisor site.”

“With millions of reviews and opinions on TripAdvisor, in addition to helpful travel advice, there is some great color, and these comments got the most laughs from our editors.” said Michele Perry, director of communications for TripAdvisor.